One of the difficulties faced by men who can’t come during sex (a condition known as delayed ejaculation) is knowing what to do about it.
Yet there are plenty of treatments out there. Take the view, as most therapists do, that a man who has trouble ejaculating is just not aroused enough.
Not aroused enough, that is, to reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
There are two approaches we could take in this situation. The first one is to examine the unconscious problems issues and wounds around sex which a man has suffered.
Hopefully by investigating these, we could enact some form of healing, and allow the man to come normally at climax.
The other approach is simply to find a way of increasing sexual arousal.
After all, if delayed ejaculation is really a reflection of low arousal, then surely the most obvious solution to the problem is to increase his arousal?
In theory this is true, but of course it’s a little bit more complicated than that. A man wouldn’t have a problem with reaching a certain level of arousal – i.e. the necessary level to ejaculate – unless there was a good reason for this.
So if a man needs to overcome his inability to reach climax during sex, then he needs to be introduced to a way of becoming aroused which is quite independent of any past sexual wounds or issues he may have experienced.
One way of doing this is to explore the possibility of Tantric sex. There are plenty of genuine sex therapists around who work with Tantric techniques. (Among many who are fraudulent). But if you use discernment you will find one who can help you overcome sexual dysfunction.
The essence of Tantra, or at least one aspect of Tantra, is to produce high levels of sexual arousal so that sexual energy flows through the body.
Interestingly enough, this can also be a cure for premature ejaculation. You might think at first that this is slightly paradoxical, and indeed it does seem so.
But whereas delayed ejaculation is about a low level of sexual arousal, and premature ejaculation about a high level of arousal, these two conditions do have a lot in common.
What they have in common is the man’s inability to control his arousal.
If you think about it, high arousal and low arousal which lead to sexual dysfunctions are both representations of the man’s disconnect from his own sexuality.
By using some kind of therapy which introduces a man to the energy flow within his body so he can become sexually aroused, he can reconnect with his own sexual arousal and his own sexuality.
The other advantages of this approach are numerous. To start with, a man becomes more open to his feelings.
Secondly, he becomes more open to the possibility of enjoying sex without the objective of climax at intercourse.
Third, he probably will experience some improvement in his capacity to engage in intimate relationships.
And all of those things are aspects of dysfunctional male sexuality which manifests either as delayed ejaculation or premature ejaculation.
Now of course it’s not possible for everybody to explore Tantric therapy as a means to “recover” from sexual dysfunction.
If you want a more conventional treatment, then you can find one on this website, which is a very good exploration of the psychology of loving – that is in fact the name of the website!
So there are plenty of options for you to choose from here: conventional therapy, Tantric healing, sexual therapy, to name only three.
The fundamental assumption here is that you’ll be motivated to overcome your sexual dysfunction.
For no matter how powerful and effective treatment may be, without commitment on your part, treatment may be ineffective.
That commitment is twofold. The first part of the commitment is to recover the ability to control ejaculation. The second part of the commitment is to do whatever may be necessary to obtain the sexual healing that is required for normal ejaculation.
One of the other advantages of Tantric therapy is that it can make a man a better lover in many ways.
It’s not that Tantra is going to change his masculinity. Indeed, it will actually expand and increase his sense of masculinity by opening up to aspects of sexuality that he never knew existed.
This can improve sex by establishing a more intimate connection with the energy of his sexual partner. Let’s assume that’s a woman.
Women prefer to experience sex as a flow of energy. Men prefer, or at least have been brought up to believe that they prefer, sex to be an accumulation of energy followed by rapid discharge. And that is the male pattern.
The female pattern is to yield, and for energy to flow much more fluidly than it does for the man. But there is no reason why these patterns of sexual responsivity cannot be experienced by both genders.
For a man who wants to experience the flow of sexual energy in a wholesome feminine way, Tantra is hard to beat.
Of course people are skeptical about these ideas.
The idea of sex lasting for hours and hours with multiple orgasms sounds unbelievable. That is what people think Tantra means. And they often think these claims are physically impossible to achieve. They do not know of the benefits.
But get this! Shockingly, around half of men ejaculate within two minutes. Clearly if you can engage with an expression of sex that doesn’t depend on ejaculation for satisfaction, then both they and their sexual partners are likely to get much more pleasure because sex will last longer. Simple!
And that form of sex is Tantric sex. Get away from the belief that sex is just about foreplay and nothing else. Penetration is not actually necessary for a whole-body orgasm.
What’s that, you ask? Clearly it’s something different to the usual ejaculatory orgasm which causes men so much difficulty (particularly if they have premature or delayed ejaculation!)
Video – Tantra
Tantra works by distinguishing the energy centres within us and opening them up to the flow of energy. These are known as the Chakras. Energy flow from the bottom Chakra in the pelvis to the top Chakra at the crown of the head can allow expansion of consciousness AND sexual energy flow in a way that you’ve never experienced before. Try it out! You’ll never regret it….