Archetypes and Sex

Tantric Lovemaking

This is a great technique to help you learn how to last longer during sex. Just put your tongue to the point immediately behind your upper front teeth in the middle of your jaw when you feel yourself beginning to get near the point of ejaculation, stop thrusting, and focus on moving the energy up from your genitals to your heart and head.

A variation of this practice is to bring your partner to orgasm with manual stimulation – in other words, to pleasure them them to orgasm and as they reach orgasm, kiss them so that your tongues are intertwined. See how that feels as you bring your awareness on to the energy flow. You can read about how to please a man in bed here, and about ways to give pleasure to a woman here.

Then have them do the same thing to you and this time see how it feels to be on the receiving end of the process. Kissing together after orgasm is also good practice, because it bonds you to your partner, and keeps the sexual energy flowing.

A second variation is for one of you to bring yourself to orgasm while you both kiss – and when he/she reaches orgasm, look deeply into each other’s eyes.

This is a very intimate way of making love, and you may find it feels like your soul is being bared! It’s worth doing it just for the experience of love and trust which it engenders – you may have heard of the idea that people merge at orgasm; well, this is one way of feeling something that approaches a soul union during sex.

And Don’t Forget To Stimulate The Chakras!

Besides focusing on the genitals – which, in this belief system, means the pelvic chakras – why not try some stimulation of the other chakras?

So, for example, focus on the heart chakra by playing with energy flow around the chest and nipples – some women, as you may know, can reach orgasm through stimulation of the nipples alone.

You can pinch, suck, lick, tweak and rub each other’s nipples in as many ways as you can think of to get energy moving during sex.

If you have enough facility with the concept and practice of energy flow, then you may achieve some surprising results – like an orgasm! If you don’t achieve an orgasm you can simply enjoy the physical pleasure. 

If a woman wants to try playing with her man’s base chakra, then she may externally massage his perineum – the area between his anus and his testicles. A man can insert one finger into his partner’s vagina and massage her perineum from inside. (Remember to wash well afterwards.)

All of these experiences can be very erotic and helpful in coming to understand and experience how energy flows during sexual intercourse. Of course, they activate the lover archetype and cause a lot of lover energy to flow – this can promote healing of emotional wounds.

Two final ideas: follow the path which the Kundalini energy reputedly follows during sex with your tongue. For a man, this is from the perineum between his buttocks ad up his spine to the top of his head, then back down across his brow and down the front of his body back to the perineum.

There is another dimension to the experience if the man is masturbating as she does this. If you are a man doing this to a woman, then follow the path of the energy from your partner’s vulva up the front of her body to her brow chakra.

She can masturbate as you do this – it’s great if she can reach orgasm at the point where your tongue reaches her brow chakra, then follow the path of the energy down her back to her vulva.

The Balance Of Yin and Yang

The ancient sex manuals were well aware of the difference between men and women when it came to sexual arousal. The Kama Sutra recommends a gentle approach, not a forcible one, to seduce a woman. In modern terms this would mean something like extending foreplay beyond the bedroom, and making sure that a woman is safe, has reason to trust you, and feels loved by you before sex begins. Of course, trust is a warrior virtue, induced by the setting of clear and firm boundaries in the bedroom.

Skillfully seducing a woman – and less so a man – depends on a gentle touch, a look, a sense of shared intimacy, a secret agreement of things to come which is unspoken, and which leads up to the act of lovemaking when the time and place are right.

Now of course lovemaking involves different sexual energies – the power, the force, the quick-to-ignite sexual energy of man, and the gentler, slower to arouse, longer lasting, and perhaps slower burning sexual energy of the woman.

But of course, an aroused woman is a passionate force. And since the Taoist belief is that she is in connection with the source of all generative energy in the Universe during sex, the energy she can bring to lovemaking is no less powerful than the man’s.

Taoist belief encompasses the philosophy that men and women are made up of different proportions of Yin and Yang energy. Women are predominantly Yin energy – men are predominantly Yang.

However, no person can be all or one of these – if you like, the sexual energy you express always contains seeds of the other sex. We are all, in other words, made up of varying degrees of Yin and Yang, feminine and masculine, sexual energy.

 It is this presence of the components of the other person within us that gives us a variety of personal and sexual characteristics. According to the Taoists, your balance of Yin and Yang would manifest in the following ways:

Yin qualities: lunar, soft, dark, female, passive, receptive, negative, inner worldly, emotional, deep, interior, retiring, nurturing, absorbing, proactive.

Yang qualities: solar, dry, warm, light, male, active, outwardly directed, positive, logical, intellectual, shallow, energetic, reactive, defensive, repelling, advancing, aggressive, reactive.

Naturally, these are stereotypical qualities, and there is no man or woman alive who shows only the male or female qualities. They are indications of the kind of energy which we see in men and women, and in the energies they bring to sex. Masculine archetypes are described here. Feminine archetypes here. The Taoists also ascribed the elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Metal) to either Yin or Yang, though this is of less interest to us now than the qualities which they described, for these are commonly observable in terms of our sexual energies.